#115612 - 06/19/01 09:56 PM
Just for "Hey Yall"
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Parr
Registered: 11/20/00
Posts: 44
Loc: Columbia City, OR
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Two rednecks decided that they weren’t going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead. The first went in to see the counselor, who told him to take math, history,and logic. “What’s logic?” the first redneck asked. The professor answered, “Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?” “I sure do.” “Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard,” replied the professor. “That’s real good!” said the redneck. The professor continued, “Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house.” Impressed, the redneck said, “Amazing!” “And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife.” “That’s Betty Mae! This is incredible!” The redneck was catching on. “Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual,” said the professor. “You’re absolutely right! Why that’s the most fascination’ thing I ever heard! I can’t wait to take that logic class!” The redneck, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where his friend was still waiting. “So what classes are ya takin’?” asked the friend. “Math, history, and logic!” replied the first redneck. “What in tarnation is logic?” asked his friend. “Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed eater?” asked the first redneck. “No,” his friend replied. “You’re queer, ain’t ya?”
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#115613 - 06/20/01 01:28 AM
Re: Just for "Hey Yall"
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Speaking of logic, do you think comedian George Carlin is logical? Read some of his thoughts on the state of our world and judge for yourself here. I don't agree with everyone of his takes, but lots of them. (sent to me by FH5 today - good stuff, thanks). ... ----------
Subject: George Carlin's philosophy > >> > > >> > Agree with his "philosophy" or not, he IS funny!! > >> > > >> > > >> > THE TRUTH BE KNOWN!!!!! > >> > > >> > I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin. > >> > > >> > I like big cars, big hooters, and big paychecks. > >> > > >> > I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some > >midlevel > >> > governmental functionary with a bad > >> > comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out > >babies. > >> > > >> > I'm not in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it! > >> > > >> > I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice-T or > >> > Marilyn Manson sang. > >> > > >> > I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer. > >> > > >> > I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason. > >> > > >> > I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized. > >> > > >> > I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you'd better do it in > >> > English. > >> > > >> > I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for > unpopular > >> > opinions or actions. > >> > > >> > I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July. > >> > > >> > I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment > >than > >> > working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill > to > >> > put your pansy ass through 4-7 years of college, you haven't begun to > be > >> > enlightened. > >> > > >> > I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God or gods, just > >> > leave the rest of us out of it. This also applies to sexuality. > >> > > >> > My heroes are John Wayne, the Simpsons, and whoever canceled Dr. Quinn, > >> > Medicine Woman. > >> > > >> > I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor. > >> > > >> > I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it. > >> > > >> > I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, > >> > when I am freezing my ass through a long winter? > >> > > >> > I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years > in > >> > the desert after getting chased out of Egypt, I haven't burned any > >witches > >> > or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you, so > >shut-the-f----up > >> > already. > >> > > >> > I want to know which church is it exactly wherethe Reverend Jesse > >Jackson > >> > preaches. And where does he get his money. And why is he always part of > >> > the problem and not the solution. > >> > > >> > I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're > >> > running from them. I also think they have the right to pull your > >> > ass over if you are breaking the law, regardless of what color you are. > >> > > >> > I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want > >you > >> > deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world > for > >> > the next four years. > >> > > >> > I hate those *******s standing in the intersections trying to sell me > >crap > >> > or trying to guilt me into making 'donations' to their > >> > cause. These people should be targets. > >> > > >> > I think if you are in the passing lane, and not passing, your license > >> > should be revoked, and you should be forced to ride the bus until you > >> > promise to never delay the rest of us again. [my favorite! - RT] > >> > > >> > I think beef jerky could quite possibly be theperfect food. > >> > > >> > I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two > >> > parents. > >> > > >> > I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please > don't > >> > pretend they are a political statement. > >> > > >> > I think Dr. Seuss was a genius. > >> > > >> > I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the > >> > mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise. > >> > > >> > If that makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American. > >> > > >> > If you too are a BAD American please forward this to everyone you know. > >> > > >> > We need our country back!
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#115614 - 06/20/01 01:05 PM
Re: Just for "Hey Yall"
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Fry
Registered: 04/03/01
Posts: 27
Loc: Portland Oregon
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Famous last words of a redneck
"Hey Ya'll watch this"
_________________________
The bend is your friend!
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#115615 - 06/20/01 05:19 PM
Re: Just for "Hey Yall"
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Returning Adult
Registered: 03/05/01
Posts: 444
Loc: Olympia....beeyotch
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LOL LOL thanks fish_on. I do own a weed eater too btw. I know that disappoints some of you :p :p :p RT - which one of those statements do you not agree with? If you don't want to publicly say it, then email me, or tell me on the boat on Friday. Good thing I have Jeffhead as a material witness
_________________________
N.W.O.
thefishinggoddess.com fan club
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#115616 - 06/20/01 09:07 PM
Re: Just for "Hey Yall"
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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No prob 'Yall. The ones I didn't agree with: - I didn't agree with his heros list; much too shallow. - Beef jerky isn't close to the perfect food. - That Geo is a BAD American. Like comedian Dennis Miller, he's mostly right on - not a BAD thing! - But the biggest thing I disagree with is that pro wrasslin is fake! You told me it wasn't fake and you wouldn't lie. RT
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